In the past few weeks, more and more people have become aware of my journey as a gestational surrogate. As a result, I’ve been blessed with an enormous amount of support, but, I’ve also encountered some not so positive feedback.
This post is not intended to call out any specific person, family or friend, but rather to in general address some of the things that have been brought up by multiple people.
I’ve read other surrogates blogs, and I’m not naïve. I realized long ago that not everyone was going to agree with my decision to be a GS. Regardless of how much I prepared myself, it doesn’t feel good to be called a “baby seller.” The amount of monetary compensation I will be receiving, quite frankly, isn’t anyone’s business. I will answer any other questions but that’s not something people need to know. Any fellow surrogates reading this can attest – We aren’t in this for the money. I’m not “selling a baby” to E & M. I’m helping them complete their family, realize their dreams. Who are we to judge how a person(s) decides to go about creating their family? No one ever asked me why I didn’t adopt instead of having my own children. E & M want to have a child genetically their own, and yes, that costs money. Does that make them less deserving? Does the fact that I will be compensated for the things I will endure throughout helping them have that child make what I’m doing less respectable? The answer to both of those questions ought to be no. If it’s not, feel free to give me your reasoning. We’ll talk about it however long you want.
The second issue I’ve encountered is regarding the fact that E & M are a gay couple. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on this subject, but, it never crossed my mind for that to be an issue. I wasn’t raised to believe that true love and families only exist with a Mom, a Dad, 2.5 kids, a dog and a white picket fence. Had I been raised that way, it would have been a hypocritical mess. I never knew my “Dad.” I still don’t, and more likely than not, never will. Did that mean my family wasn’t “normal?” Did that make me any less deserving of societal acceptance? No.
I’m not raising my children to judge others. I’m not raising them to believe that love only comes in one cookie cutter perfect mold. Love comes in all shapes and sizes. My hope is that my children will not be tolerant – They will accept others for who they are. No questions asked. E & M being a gay couple doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t matter to my husband. It doesn’t matter to my kids. E & M love each other and that’s clearly evident from spending 5 minutes with them. I’m truly blessed and honored to have met them and to be going through this journey with them. They are going to be amazing parents, “traditional” or not.
If you’re reading this and feel like it’s directed towards you, please don’t take offense or instantly get on the defensive. I’ve dealth with the two above issues from several people and simply hope to shed a little light on my feelings about the subjects.
Thanks for reading…