Their Lovin, My Oven

My Journey as a Gestational Surrogate

Things that make you go Hmmm July 22, 2011

It’s time for another post, so I thought I would make it a good one with a lot of thought provoking crap important stuff! LOL. First and foremost an update on the bambinos! I’m now 17 weeks along carrying E & Ms little miracles. The babies are officially about 9 inches from head to toe (that’s 18 total inches of baby, people! That’s equivalent to some shorty newborns!) and weigh just over 5oz each. They are becoming sensitive to light, starting to develop FAT (Oh good, I’m not alone anymore) and recycling amniotic fluid to make those lovely first meconium poops for their Daddies. I’m feeling rather large these days but I have some friends who love me dearly and do their best to convince me that I’m small for carrying twins. I’ll post pics some other day LOL.

I have a LOT of people ask me if I notice a ton of differences between carrying twins vs a “singleton” pregnancy like with my girls so I thought I would list out the differences that I’ve noticed thus far. Keep in mind I’m still not quite to the halfway point so I’m sure this post will be edited to add more as things progress. The biggest difference I notice is how tired exhausted I am. Hubby swears I was this tired when preggo with “K” but I am pretty sure he doesn’t know what he is talking about. No matter how much sleep I get at night, or if I’m able to take a nap, I still feel tired. I’ve decided that the 2nd trimester energy boost is nonexistent when you’re carrying multiples. The second thing probably doesn’t have a lot to do with carrying twins, but more to do with the fact that D & G are BOYS and thus far I’ve only carried girls. I’m carrying SO much lower this pregnancy than with my girls and I feel it. My tummy feels very heavy already and I know that’s only going to increase as time goes on. Other than that, I don’t notice too many differences just yet. Give me time LOL.

Hubby and I surprised E & M by renting an at home doppler to listen to the babies heartbeats whenever we want. After a little while of trying to figure out just where in my Bambino Hotel they were both located, we’ve been able to listen to their beautiful heartbeats several times. We surprised them on Skype and let them hear their boys. They are both such wiggle worms (enjoy it now D & G, I know you’re running out of room in there LOL) so it’s hard to keep the sound isolated for more than a few seconds, but those few seconds are just beautiful. E & M were so overwhelmed and thankful for every little thing that we have done. It means the world to me to see the joy on their faces – That’s what this is all about. Seeing them so happy makes me tear up. They truly are the perfect IFs and I know without a shadow of a doubt that they are going to be the world’s best Daddies (besides DH of course.)

I’ve been starting to feel the boys moving more, still not regularly but when it happens I know it’s them and not gas. And yes, I’ve been pregnant and had enough gas in my life that I can tell the difference! LOL. Having the doppler at home and hearing their heartbeats while feeling their movements at the same time brought about a realization that I hadn’t had to deal with just yet. People used to (and sometimes still do) ask me if I was going to get attached to the babies. I imagined that in some ways I would, I mean how can you not? You’re caring for, nurturing and putting everything you have into growing these tiny babies for their parents for 9 months. I wasn’t sure though how that attachment would differ from that to my own girls when I was pregnant with them. My realization? It’s drastically different, but, in a good way. I went into this surrogacy knowing that the child(ren) I was going to carry for whomever would not be mine. Not my egg, not my baby. These precious little boys have belonged to their Daddies long before they were ever implanted in my “oven.” Their Daddies have been planning, dreaming, hoping, wishing for years and now it’s finally real to them. I am always amazed every time I feel a movement from either boy, and listening to their heartbeats never gets old. I absolutely love and adore Davide & Gabriel and always will. BUT, it’s different. My joy, my love, my excitement all stems back to Esteban & Michele. Every movement that I love to feel reminds me how big and strong the boys are growing and how we are each day getting a little bit closer to being able to hand them to their Daddies. Every time I listen to their heartbeats, I think of Esteban & Michele and the smiles that I can see or hear in their voices every time they hear the same sound. This is all for them. I will love and protect D & G with every fiber of my being, just like I did and do with my own children, but I do it out of a greater love for their Daddies. I love them like I love my best friends son. I would do anything to protect them from harm, but would never think of keeping them from their parents. The attachment is totally different but it’s amazing. I am so blessed to have such wonderful IFs who I know would never take these boys away from me. I don’t have to worry about losing contact or not being able to see the boys grow up. We’re all family now and I honestly couldn’t ask for anything more. It’s a dream come true for my first surrogacy. I know that not every surrogate has the same experience and my heart breaks for them. Words cannot describe how thankful I am that God brought E & M and my family together for this amazing journey.

As always, thank you for those that take the time to read my blog. It means a lot to me that people that I’ve never met, and my family and friends care enough to stay updated on how things are going. Until next time, lots of love from Danielle and the bambinos. 🙂


2 Responses to “Things that make you go Hmmm”

  1. Aww Danielle! You are an excellent “blogger”. I get e-mails when you post new blogs! You’re doing an excellent job baking those baby boys!!

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